When I came out I can remember having a conversation with my father a few days after I came out. He told me “just please don’t get HIV”. This was when I was getting sober, so my memory was comparable to a hummingbird with ADD, so although there may have been other conversations that took place about my sexuality…I don’t remember any.
Neither alcoholics Anonymous nor Narcotics Anonymous has ever really been for me. The gossip between members and continuous dialogue about giving yourself over to a higher power never buttered my bread. I was looking for a Socratic-style discussion group rather than the single file confessionals that I kept finding.
If you are related to me, you should stop reading this post right here. Seriously…I am telling you to skip this one. It will be weird.
My sex life has never been about me. It has always been about making sure the guy is enjoying himself. On one hand, it genuinely turns me on to see his eyes roll back and steam shoot out of his ears. On the heavier hand, it feels like I’ve given up my own pleasure for the sake of this other individual.
We all just want to be understood right? We want that connection that is formed when someone tells you, “I understand.” Well…This post is about understanding and when it is appropriate. I know that there is an innate urge to feel understood in this fucked up and fleeting reality, but sometimes it feels more like a gesture of let me tell you my story and how I got through it, when in a lot of circumstances that is unwanted, unwarranted, and will be rejected.
This is the appropriate response to having when someone comes to you to tell you they are depressed, or struggling with addiction, having panic attacks, or going through any other state of mental distress.
Let me preface this by saying: if I COULD eat vegan or vegetarian and still be the best version of myself, I would in a heartbeat. ALSO this isn’t to scare vegans / vegetarians into stopping their diet, I just hope to maybe shed some light on a subject that not many people know about (I certainly didn’t). I’ve been eating some form of vegetarianism for the past five years, and vegan for the last seven months of that time. I thought that what I was doing was good for my body and overall health. But if you look at a timeline over the past six years, my mental health was circling the drain.
There should be at least two different words for anxiety, because the word “anxiety” doesn’t do what I experience justice. Read More
“Don’t promise when you’re happy. Don’t reply when you’re angry. Don’t decide when you’re sad.” – Ziad K. Abdelnour
“Don’t buy groceries when you’re hungry.” – Personal experience
“Just ask, it can never hurt.” – Papa Wolfe
“Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.” – Ghandi probably
“If it smells like shit wherever you go, check under your own shoes first.” – Homeless man I met in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco
“When you have a generous impulse, follow it. If it randomly occurs to you to give money to a homeless guy, or offer to help a friend move, or pay the toll for the person behind you, just do it.” – Mama Wolfe
“I never learned anything while I was talking.” – Larry King
“You cannot change the past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.” – Santa Claus maybe
“Cutting people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself. Not everyone is meant to stay.” – Cady Heron perhaps
“You really need to know a person, inside and out, to be in love with them. If you’re filling in the blanks, it’s likely infatuation.” – General Surgeon
“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” – A Witch from Salem, Massachusetts
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” – God, but you can call her Ru Paul
“Be excellent to each other.” – Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
“Learn something about everything, and everything about something.” – Freshman Drawing & Rendering Professor
“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” – Mark Twain
“So it goes…” – Kurt Vonnegut
“Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.” – Desmond Tutu
“Do it NOW, sometimes later becomes never.” – Papa Wolfe
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito in your room.” – Dalai Lama XIV
Hope these words were as thought provoking, and helpful, for you as they were for me. And as always…
Much love & many adventures,