A quick and effective tip that can pull you out from the brink of a panic attack.
Amongst different crowds, the word “ego” has different connotations. To some, it is a positive attribute to have an ego in excess, even something to strive for, because in a way ego is invincibility. Albeit, invincibility that may be birthed from ignorance, like a boy who throws on a cape and is convinced he can fly, only to break both of his legs jumping off the roof of his suburban home. Ego can be dangerous. Some people never take off the cape and feel they are superior to others because they know they can fly, even though they may have never jumped off the roof to give it a try.
Circumstances as a child made me agreeable to a clinical degree. Circumstances that I am not yet ready to publish publicly, but I will, I make a promise to you and to myself. Language is my single greatest inspiration and frustration. I can get lost in the playful syntax of Walt Whitman or Maya Angelou, but I feel another sense of loss when trying to form the words describing emotion and experience because so many of these sensations are best described between words, or are omitted from language completely.
Regardless from the causation of my agreeability, I’d like to discuss its breaking point.
Fuck off. What the actual fuck does that mean? Whenever I was confronted with a nerve-wracking situation, someone would offer me the sage advice “just be yourself”.
The first day of school? Just be yourself. Going on a date? Just be yourself. Going to an interview? Just be yourself. Hmm, interesting but have you ever considered this: WHO AM I? How can I be myself if I have no idea what that means?
How do you create thick skin?
No seriously, I’m asking you. I’m an incredibly sensitive person. It’s such a blessing and a curse to feel everything so intensely. While no, I wouldn’t change myself, it can be incredibly difficult to function when from time to time it feels like a breeze could bring you down like a house of cards.
Let’s talk about drugs. First and foremost:
- I AM NOT A DOCTOR NOR DO I CLAIM TO BE A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.
- EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT WHAT DID NOT WORK FOR ME MAY WORK PERFECTLY FOR YOU AND VICE VERSA.
- MEDICATIONS TAKE PATIENCE, DO YOU REALIZE HOW RARE IT IS FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS, BE PRESCRIBED ONE MEDICATION, AND HAVE IT WORK PERFECTLY?!
- THERE IS NO MAGIC CURE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS, IT’S A FUCKING BITCH AND TAKES A LOT OF WORK. SO BE PATIENT AND LOVE YOURSELF.
This post is split into two parts. The first is my own opinion on the matter of cultural appropriation versus appreciation, and the second is my experience with my Yantra tattoo. If you just want to read how painful the tattoo was, feel free to skip ahead to the section marked The Story of My Sak Yant.