This was difficult to write, and may be difficult to read. Before we get started, I would like to offer a trigger warning to anyone experiencing addiction/depression/self-harm/suicidal thoughts or anything of the like. For those of you that might be confused about your sexual identity, I want to hear from you. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, let me be that person.
How do you create thick skin?
No seriously, I’m asking you. I’m an incredibly sensitive person. It’s such a blessing and a curse to feel everything so intensely. While no, I wouldn’t change myself, it can be incredibly difficult to function when from time to time it feels like a breeze could bring you down like a house of cards.
Let’s talk about drugs. First and foremost:
- I AM NOT A DOCTOR NOR DO I CLAIM TO BE A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.
- EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT WHAT DID NOT WORK FOR ME MAY WORK PERFECTLY FOR YOU AND VICE VERSA.
- MEDICATIONS TAKE PATIENCE, DO YOU REALIZE HOW RARE IT IS FOR SOMEONE TO HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS, BE PRESCRIBED ONE MEDICATION, AND HAVE IT WORK PERFECTLY?!
- THERE IS NO MAGIC CURE FOR MENTAL ILLNESS, IT’S A FUCKING BITCH AND TAKES A LOT OF WORK. SO BE PATIENT AND LOVE YOURSELF.
I have been an addict all my life. It sort of comes with the territory of obsessive-compulsive disorder. So addiction for me didn’t extend to a substance based issue until much later. For now, I would like to focus on the pinnacle of my addiction and the collapse, rather than psychoanalyze as to why I became addicted in the first place.
This post features a glimpse into my experience with depression, something that I call “Flash Flood Depression”. I know that when you are going through a depressive episode reading about someone else’s experience can do one of two things. It can either give you peace of mind relating to the solidarity of another persons story, or it can stir already tumultuous emotions. For that reason I would like to offer a trigger warning prior to showing you the rest of this post. Still here? Then let’s do what we’ve always done and press onward.